Looking at Parke’rs weekly scoring log is depressing: 31, 10, 2, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 13, 0, 11, 0, 3, Vomit.

His knee isn’t getting any better and he will likely put up another whopping 3 points if things keep going the way they have been.  This is good for all those bastards who scooped up Mel. Moore and just another week of disappointment for Parker owners thanks to Willie and his lil’ knee.

Owning Parker in leagues has been more frustrating than owning Tom Brady was.  Atleast with Brady there was closure, and if you picked up Cassell, the last two weeks have been pretty bright.  Having Willie Parker on the other hand has been a nightmare.  You can’t drop him, but you can’t start him.   Based on my frustration Fast Willie Parker is now officially Fragile Willie Parker.  Hopefully “Troy” doesn’t come after me for insulting his man crush. Who posts pictures like this?  Seriously.  Now that I have criticized FWP hopefully he will blow up for 30 points.  But going against NE this week, Parker blowing up is about as likely as Michael Vick throwing 4 touchdowns.

I have this weird thing where I get really grossed out when I watch old people eat. Lately watching the eagles play has had a similar effect.  The play calling has been gross.  I remember a specific instance a few weeks ago, 3rd and 1, 4th and 1, - they have one of the best running backs in the league - and they try to pass both times.  Of course they don’t get it.  These last two weeks they manage to only get 68 rushing yards against Cincy and 86 against Baltimore.  Yuck.  The Baltimore line is a little more excusable where you have Ray Lewis ready to tear off your limbs at any moment. They have so many offensive weapons yet continue to be mediocre - sort of like the phoenix suns of football - always a bridesmaid never a bride.

The Baltimore game was a train wreck. Mcnabb putting up negative fantasy points and then Andy Reid benching him.  I wonder how many domestic assaults happened in the greater Philadelphia area that night.   Until the Eagles pull their heads out of their asses and Mcnabb has a 30 point game I will be sippin’ on haterade along with thousands of Eagles fans.  I searched the interwebs for a duo as equally as sad as Reid and Mcnabb.  I found kath & kim.  Not the American remake but the original Australian series, take a look at the wikipedia quote:

The series revolves around the family matters and relationships of the title characters, a dysfunctional mother and daughter. Kath & Kim stars Jane Turner as Kath Day-Knight, a cheerful 50-something divorcee currently in a happy relationship with her fiancé (and then husband), the prissy Kel Knight. She deals with her spoilt, ever complaining, 20-something daughter Kim Craig; Kim’s unlucky, sports obsessed second best friend Sharon Strzelecki; Kim’s estranged husband Brett Craig; and their baby daughter Epponnee Rae Craig.

Wow I’d rather watch a spin off of Will and Grace staring Balky Bartokomous then sit through a minute of that putrid telecast.  You know what - that’s how I feel about the Eagles lately.  You may feel inclined to speculate on my sexual preferences after the kath & kim reference.  I make great scarifies for my research, hating on mcnabb and reid is no exception here. I will bear my cross to get this important message across.  In closing I dont know who is the least attractive in this picture - its like a bermuda triangle for boners.

Hey John.  I got to admit I enjoy your commentary and inside fantasy injury updates.  But numerous fantasy owners had to be pissed tonight because you reported this morning that Portis was not playing at all.  Well John, he started, luckily for you he had a mediocre game.  I’m starting to wonder if your oddly shaped skull is still the best sieve for fantasy info.  Maybe you are still reeling from Salisbury calling you the crypt keeper.

Hello nurse!

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This is the start of rotodorks.  I want the first commentary on our fantasy sports website to be about my personal tragedies. Those tradgedies being Tom Brady and Willie Parker.  The two of them have managed to destroy my records in a few of my leagues.  If it weren’t for the waiver wire I don’t know what I’d do - I’m talking to you Donnie Avery, Lance Moore and Kyle Orton.

Thanks for ruining my life Tom and Willie.