So many people in sports hop on what I call the slurp wagon, one day an athlete is bordering on mediocrity the next moment they are Michael Jordan.  Give me a break.  The guy has two monster weeks. Stop slurping. People are slurping so hard that they are talking about trading brady because cassel is better.  Wow.  Let that (more…)

I have this weird thing where I get really grossed out when I watch old people eat. Lately watching the eagles play has had a similar effect.  The play calling has been gross.  I remember a specific instance a few weeks ago, 3rd and 1, 4th and 1, - they have one of the best running backs in the league - and they try to pass both times.  Of course they don’t get it.  These last two weeks they manage to only get 68 rushing yards against Cincy and 86 against Baltimore.  Yuck.  The Baltimore line is a little more excusable where you have Ray Lewis ready to tear off your limbs at any moment. They have so many offensive weapons yet continue to be mediocre - sort of like the phoenix suns of football - always a bridesmaid never a bride.

The Baltimore game was a train wreck. Mcnabb putting up negative fantasy points and then Andy Reid benching him.  I wonder how many domestic assaults happened in the greater Philadelphia area that night.   Until the Eagles pull their heads out of their asses and Mcnabb has a 30 point game I will be sippin’ on haterade along with thousands of Eagles fans.  I searched the interwebs for a duo as equally as sad as Reid and Mcnabb.  I found kath & kim.  Not the American remake but the original Australian series, take a look at the wikipedia quote:

The series revolves around the family matters and relationships of the title characters, a dysfunctional mother and daughter. Kath & Kim stars Jane Turner as Kath Day-Knight, a cheerful 50-something divorcee currently in a happy relationship with her fiancé (and then husband), the prissy Kel Knight. She deals with her spoilt, ever complaining, 20-something daughter Kim Craig; Kim’s unlucky, sports obsessed second best friend Sharon Strzelecki; Kim’s estranged husband Brett Craig; and their baby daughter Epponnee Rae Craig.

Wow I’d rather watch a spin off of Will and Grace staring Balky Bartokomous then sit through a minute of that putrid telecast.  You know what - that’s how I feel about the Eagles lately.  You may feel inclined to speculate on my sexual preferences after the kath & kim reference.  I make great scarifies for my research, hating on mcnabb and reid is no exception here. I will bear my cross to get this important message across.  In closing I dont know who is the least attractive in this picture - its like a bermuda triangle for boners.

I didn’t like Steven Jackson pre-draft. I thought he was going to be a bust. Looking back I really had no legitimate reason, except for the fact that everyone was really into him. Now that he sucks I feel validated. When I started writing this article I was going to make fun of SJ for his creepy pencil mustache, then I noticed the top 5 RB’s right now all have that shit going on too(seriously go look). Hey guys, you all have 40 million dollar contracts - last I checked chicks weren’t into lines of pubic hair above your lip. Check yourselves. Especially you SJ, if you must rock the chi-mo look at least put some points on the board. SJ hasn’t scored a touchdown when his team has been behind all season.

Week 12 Player Rankings

QB

1. Peyton Manning

2. Kurt Warner

3. Aaron Rodgers

4. Drew Brees

5. Tony Romo

6. Jay Cutler (more…)

Many of the superstars actually lived up to expectations this weekend but there were still those who definitely failed to impress.

SUCK LIST

Tony Romo - Caught a lot of flack for ranking him 10th among QB’s this week but Sunday evening you saw exactly why. It will take him a game or two to get back into the swing of things but 198 yards 1 TD and 2 INT’s did not help you at all if you started him. He probably read Mike’s Haterade article before kickoff and got super nervous. That’s it.

Chad Pennington/Matt Ryan - Whatever happened to the studs who had pleasantly surprised the last few weeks? 6 points from Pennington and 9 from Ryan in standard leagues? I would be lying if I said we weren’t expecting much more from them against sub par defenses. They probably forgot to read everything I have written about how talented and great they are. A-Holes.

Tim Hightower - I told you all week that the way to beat Seattle was through the air and not to expect much from Hightower…so I can’t say this was completely unexpected.

Clinton Portis - Was doubtful all week and ended up playing, sort of. 68 yards…thats it. If you sat him and played Betts you lost out…and if you played Portis you lost out also. You basically lost if you had anything to do with Portis this weekend.

Willis McGahee - Ankler injury kept him out of the game as did the Giants destroying all hopes for a Baltimore rushing game by creating a huge first half lead. Check his status this week to see if he will play.

Brian Westbrook - I was thinking all week how unfair it was that Andy Reid’s job might be in trouble…..but then he only hands the ball to Westbrook 14 times….and gets him 3 receptions. McNabb threw 58 times. It is not like they were down by a lot and needed to throw the ball to catch up. Westbrook is by far the best person on this Eagles team. Pretty speechless about this one.

Marques Colston/Kevin Boss/Muhsin Muhammad - Only because I highly recommended all three of these guys all weekend, and during the chat….and they stunk it up. I will take the blame for this one.

Terrell Owens / Jason Witten - Next week they should finally have their big games but you were warned about Romo this past weekend….

Jake Delhomme/Steve Smith - I think Jake might be shaving points….how is he this bad all of the sudden? Personal problems? Wife not putting out? They played Detroit of all teams.

Adrian Peterson - Not that 85 yards is terrible….but c’mon guy you set the bar pretty high for yourself last week with 190+.

Antonio Gates - 10 yards. Nice job, buddy.

NOT SUCK LIST

Kurt Warner/Anquan Boldin/Larry Fitzgerald - Not gunna say it again…..you already know.

Matt Cassel - Ok so I should not be a weatherman….it didn’t rain as much as I thought it would but you can’t seriously think this will happen again. Or will it? No, it won’t.

Tyler Thigpen - I love this guy. Who would have thought? Continues being a top 5 fantasy QB over the last 6 weeks.

Shaun Hill - Niners might have something here….probably not but he is a good play depending on the match up.

DeAngelo Williams - What is more impressive than 120 yards rushing and 2 TD’s is that he managed to do it when Jonathan Stewart had a great game as well. DeAngelo is still the guy you want in this backfield.

Marion Barber - Actually received a few questions during the Last Minute Advice Chat (right here every Sunday before the first round of games) on whether people should start Marion Barber because of the match up. Barber should always be started. No excuses. He delivered and kept the Cowboys relevant for another week.

Maurice Jones-Drew - 93 all purpose yards and 2 TDs is great vs a Tennessee D that has been very stingy YTD. He gets all the goaline carries. Fred Taylor is droppable in most leagues.

Joseph Addai - I guess he still is alive.

Peyton Hillis - Productive game from this guy and got both the goal line carries but who knows what will happen next week after Tatum Bell gets in game shape.

In conclusion, since I have hated so hard on Braylon Edwards this week I am pretty sure he will most likely break out with one of those 7 catch 120 yard games and a TD, oh….especially since if he does that I will take a loss in a very important league. How about a Haterade article on him, Mike?