Week 13 Player Rankings - UPDATED 11/26/08

QB

1. Tony Romo

2. Kurt Warner

3. Peyton Manning (more…)

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The cartoon above shows how I felt Sunday afternoon at the moment I found out that Brandon Jacobs and Plaxico Burress were not playing. I felt like the rabbit, obviously. Screw those guys. Seriously, big thanks to Plaxico Burress and Brandon Jacobs for giving the impression that they were going to play…..then me telling readers they should play them and to have no fear. I’m the asshole.

I actually feel good about this week. There were some slip ups as nobody is perfect, but all in all I would have to say if you took the advice you didn’t fair that poorly this week.

SUCK LIST -

Brandon Jacobs/Plaxico Burress - “feeling better,” “improving,” “attended practice,” “probable.” What a bunch of jerks.

Brady Quinn - You shouldn’t have started him and I have no sympathy for you if you did. (more…)

Many of the superstars actually lived up to expectations this weekend but there were still those who definitely failed to impress.

SUCK LIST

Tony Romo - Caught a lot of flack for ranking him 10th among QB’s this week but Sunday evening you saw exactly why. It will take him a game or two to get back into the swing of things but 198 yards 1 TD and 2 INT’s did not help you at all if you started him. He probably read Mike’s Haterade article before kickoff and got super nervous. That’s it.

Chad Pennington/Matt Ryan - Whatever happened to the studs who had pleasantly surprised the last few weeks? 6 points from Pennington and 9 from Ryan in standard leagues? I would be lying if I said we weren’t expecting much more from them against sub par defenses. They probably forgot to read everything I have written about how talented and great they are. A-Holes.

Tim Hightower - I told you all week that the way to beat Seattle was through the air and not to expect much from Hightower…so I can’t say this was completely unexpected.

Clinton Portis - Was doubtful all week and ended up playing, sort of. 68 yards…thats it. If you sat him and played Betts you lost out…and if you played Portis you lost out also. You basically lost if you had anything to do with Portis this weekend.

Willis McGahee - Ankler injury kept him out of the game as did the Giants destroying all hopes for a Baltimore rushing game by creating a huge first half lead. Check his status this week to see if he will play.

Brian Westbrook - I was thinking all week how unfair it was that Andy Reid’s job might be in trouble…..but then he only hands the ball to Westbrook 14 times….and gets him 3 receptions. McNabb threw 58 times. It is not like they were down by a lot and needed to throw the ball to catch up. Westbrook is by far the best person on this Eagles team. Pretty speechless about this one.

Marques Colston/Kevin Boss/Muhsin Muhammad - Only because I highly recommended all three of these guys all weekend, and during the chat….and they stunk it up. I will take the blame for this one.

Terrell Owens / Jason Witten - Next week they should finally have their big games but you were warned about Romo this past weekend….

Jake Delhomme/Steve Smith - I think Jake might be shaving points….how is he this bad all of the sudden? Personal problems? Wife not putting out? They played Detroit of all teams.

Adrian Peterson - Not that 85 yards is terrible….but c’mon guy you set the bar pretty high for yourself last week with 190+.

Antonio Gates - 10 yards. Nice job, buddy.

NOT SUCK LIST

Kurt Warner/Anquan Boldin/Larry Fitzgerald - Not gunna say it again…..you already know.

Matt Cassel - Ok so I should not be a weatherman….it didn’t rain as much as I thought it would but you can’t seriously think this will happen again. Or will it? No, it won’t.

Tyler Thigpen - I love this guy. Who would have thought? Continues being a top 5 fantasy QB over the last 6 weeks.

Shaun Hill - Niners might have something here….probably not but he is a good play depending on the match up.

DeAngelo Williams - What is more impressive than 120 yards rushing and 2 TD’s is that he managed to do it when Jonathan Stewart had a great game as well. DeAngelo is still the guy you want in this backfield.

Marion Barber - Actually received a few questions during the Last Minute Advice Chat (right here every Sunday before the first round of games) on whether people should start Marion Barber because of the match up. Barber should always be started. No excuses. He delivered and kept the Cowboys relevant for another week.

Maurice Jones-Drew - 93 all purpose yards and 2 TDs is great vs a Tennessee D that has been very stingy YTD. He gets all the goaline carries. Fred Taylor is droppable in most leagues.

Joseph Addai - I guess he still is alive.

Peyton Hillis - Productive game from this guy and got both the goal line carries but who knows what will happen next week after Tatum Bell gets in game shape.

In conclusion, since I have hated so hard on Braylon Edwards this week I am pretty sure he will most likely break out with one of those 7 catch 120 yard games and a TD, oh….especially since if he does that I will take a loss in a very important league. How about a Haterade article on him, Mike?

Week 11 Player Rankings

QB

1. Kurt Warner

2. Drew Brees

3. Peyton Manning

4. Matt Ryan - Last 4 games has had 21, 20, 19, 18 fantasy points. This week he gets Denver.

5. Donovan McNabb

6. Jay Cutler

7. Tyler Thigpen - More fantasy points than any other QB the last 3 weeks.

8. Jake Delhomme - Rebound game.

9. Aaron Rodgers

10. Tony Romo - Would be higher but play it safe until we see how healthy he is.

NOT MAKING THE CUT: Philip Rivers - West Coast team traveling cross country, tough Pitt D…don’t expect big things. Ben Roethlisberger - Practiced in full Thursday but I’m not comfortable with him. Brett Favre - Suppose to pour rain tonight in New England. Not good news for the passing game.

RUNNING BACKS

1. Frank Gore

2. Brian Westbrook (more…)

Week 10 Players to Watch

QB

1. Kurt Warner - Huge game against sub par San Francisco D

2. Drew Brees - Thinking 2 weeks is enough time to figure out how to carve up the Atlanta Defense.

3. Philip Rivers - 3 Nice games in a row will easily become 4 after Sunday vs Kansas City.

4. Brett Favre - Yea he throws a lot of picks…but he’s playing the Rams. The RAMS!

5. Aaron Rodgers - The way to beat Minnesota is through the air. Really like Jennings here.

6. Matt Ryan - Not playing like a rookie thats for sure.

7. Chad Pennington - Who would have thought he would make the top 10 list at any point during the season.

8. Jake Delhomme - Huge boner just thinking about Delhomme vs Oakland.

9. Donovan McNabb - If he can stay off his back he should be fine. Lots of receiving yards for Westbrook this game.

10. David Gerrard - Detroit sucks.

RUNNING BACKS

1. Ladanian Tomlinson- LDT - Coming off his first 100 yard game in Week 9 there are more big things to come vs KC.

2. Adrian Peterson - Theo nly way GB would have a change of stopping the run is if they went to Gilbert Brown’s house with a crane, knocked down a wall, drove him to the stadium, and planted him on the defensive line.

3. Brian Westbrook - He will do well if he doesnt break a rib, sprain an ankle, catch the flu, break an arm, break a nail, cut himself while shaving.

4. Michael Turner - Runs wild vs bad teams and New Orleans should be no different.

5. DeAngelo Williams - After Carolina is up 21-0 in the first quarter it will be time to put the ball on the ground the rest of the game.

6. Frank Gore - I actually don’t really like him that much this week. They are going to be losing by a lot so at least he is in line for some WR check down yards.

7. Tim Hightower - I think after last week it is fair to say he is pretty good, and the number 1 option in Arizona.

8. Thomas Jones - It’s all about matchups, and he has a good one.

9. Maurice Jones-Drew - See “Jones, Thomas.”

10. Tie - Chris Johnson/Ronnie Brown - Don’t like either of these but you can’t get away from starting them. They both play opponents who can’t stop the pass.

WIDE RECEIVERS

1. Anquan Boldin - Many, many TD’s the last few weeks. More here.

2. Steve Smith - Ok so I may have thought that Smith was not going to be that good this year. My fault. They play the Raiders….how can anyone be a Raider fan with Al Davis as the owner?

3. Andre Johnson - Sage is not that bad. He played ok last year. Plus they throw a lot.

4. Roddy White - Matt Ryan’s favorite target.

5. Gregg Jennings - Driver’s numbers last week = Jenning’s numbers this week.

6. Larry Fitzgerald - He would be higher but Boldin is stealing all his TD’s. Why don’t more players pull guys down by their dreads? I would do that all the time.

7. Dewayne Bowe - Imagine if he was on a good team.

8. Calvin Johnson - I like him a lot. Not sure if its because I think Daunte will go deep to him a lot, or because I’m wishing that he will go deep to him. Too much talk of two large men going deep with eachother.

9. Laveraneus Coles - This game could get ugly.

10. Marques Colston - Call it a hunch…..

TIGHT ENDS

1. Antonio Gates - Why are TE’s so bad this year? So hard to find a solid one.

2. Tony Gonzalez - I never saw Tyler Thigpen play at the beginning of the year but by looknig at the box score I thought it was one of those things where the Chiefs were letting a retarded kid play, like that high school basketball team did awhile back. Ok the kid wasn’t retarded he had a learnign disabiilty…tomato tomahto.

3. Dallas Clark

4. Owen Daniels

5. Anthony Fasano - Seattle gets beat by the pass, and every other way.

6. Bo Scaife

7. Greg Olsen

8. Kevin Boss - He can catch a TD pass. Can’t say that about many Tight Ends this year.

9. Viasoufsduiofhasuh Shiansodnaou - However you spell his name. The TE from Minnesota.

10. Jeremy Shockey - If the little bitch can finally get over his ball injury maybe he can catch a pass? Score some points? Help me out here?

Defense

1.Tennessee - They get to face Rex Grossman

2. Carolina

3. Jacksonville

4. Baltimore

5. Pittsburgh

6. Giants

7. Bears

8. Jets

9. Packers

10. Chargers

Kickers

1. Don’t be stupid. I’m not ranking kickers.