Week 13 Player Rankings - UPDATED 11/26/08

QB

1. Tony Romo

2. Kurt Warner

3. Peyton Manning (more…)

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The cartoon above shows how I felt Sunday afternoon at the moment I found out that Brandon Jacobs and Plaxico Burress were not playing. I felt like the rabbit, obviously. Screw those guys. Seriously, big thanks to Plaxico Burress and Brandon Jacobs for giving the impression that they were going to play…..then me telling readers they should play them and to have no fear. I’m the asshole.

I actually feel good about this week. There were some slip ups as nobody is perfect, but all in all I would have to say if you took the advice you didn’t fair that poorly this week.

SUCK LIST -

Brandon Jacobs/Plaxico Burress - “feeling better,” “improving,” “attended practice,” “probable.” What a bunch of jerks.

Brady Quinn - You shouldn’t have started him and I have no sympathy for you if you did. (more…)

Week 12 Player Rankings

QB

1. Peyton Manning

2. Kurt Warner

3. Aaron Rodgers

4. Drew Brees

5. Tony Romo

6. Jay Cutler (more…)

Week 11 Player Rankings

QB

1. Kurt Warner

2. Drew Brees

3. Peyton Manning

4. Matt Ryan - Last 4 games has had 21, 20, 19, 18 fantasy points. This week he gets Denver.

5. Donovan McNabb

6. Jay Cutler

7. Tyler Thigpen - More fantasy points than any other QB the last 3 weeks.

8. Jake Delhomme - Rebound game.

9. Aaron Rodgers

10. Tony Romo - Would be higher but play it safe until we see how healthy he is.

NOT MAKING THE CUT: Philip Rivers - West Coast team traveling cross country, tough Pitt D…don’t expect big things. Ben Roethlisberger - Practiced in full Thursday but I’m not comfortable with him. Brett Favre - Suppose to pour rain tonight in New England. Not good news for the passing game.

RUNNING BACKS

1. Frank Gore

2. Brian Westbrook (more…)

Week 10 Players to Watch

QB

1. Kurt Warner - Huge game against sub par San Francisco D

2. Drew Brees - Thinking 2 weeks is enough time to figure out how to carve up the Atlanta Defense.

3. Philip Rivers - 3 Nice games in a row will easily become 4 after Sunday vs Kansas City.

4. Brett Favre - Yea he throws a lot of picks…but he’s playing the Rams. The RAMS!

5. Aaron Rodgers - The way to beat Minnesota is through the air. Really like Jennings here.

6. Matt Ryan - Not playing like a rookie thats for sure.

7. Chad Pennington - Who would have thought he would make the top 10 list at any point during the season.

8. Jake Delhomme - Huge boner just thinking about Delhomme vs Oakland.

9. Donovan McNabb - If he can stay off his back he should be fine. Lots of receiving yards for Westbrook this game.

10. David Gerrard - Detroit sucks.

RUNNING BACKS

1. Ladanian Tomlinson- LDT - Coming off his first 100 yard game in Week 9 there are more big things to come vs KC.

2. Adrian Peterson - Theo nly way GB would have a change of stopping the run is if they went to Gilbert Brown’s house with a crane, knocked down a wall, drove him to the stadium, and planted him on the defensive line.

3. Brian Westbrook - He will do well if he doesnt break a rib, sprain an ankle, catch the flu, break an arm, break a nail, cut himself while shaving.

4. Michael Turner - Runs wild vs bad teams and New Orleans should be no different.

5. DeAngelo Williams - After Carolina is up 21-0 in the first quarter it will be time to put the ball on the ground the rest of the game.

6. Frank Gore - I actually don’t really like him that much this week. They are going to be losing by a lot so at least he is in line for some WR check down yards.

7. Tim Hightower - I think after last week it is fair to say he is pretty good, and the number 1 option in Arizona.

8. Thomas Jones - It’s all about matchups, and he has a good one.

9. Maurice Jones-Drew - See “Jones, Thomas.”

10. Tie - Chris Johnson/Ronnie Brown - Don’t like either of these but you can’t get away from starting them. They both play opponents who can’t stop the pass.

WIDE RECEIVERS

1. Anquan Boldin - Many, many TD’s the last few weeks. More here.

2. Steve Smith - Ok so I may have thought that Smith was not going to be that good this year. My fault. They play the Raiders….how can anyone be a Raider fan with Al Davis as the owner?

3. Andre Johnson - Sage is not that bad. He played ok last year. Plus they throw a lot.

4. Roddy White - Matt Ryan’s favorite target.

5. Gregg Jennings - Driver’s numbers last week = Jenning’s numbers this week.

6. Larry Fitzgerald - He would be higher but Boldin is stealing all his TD’s. Why don’t more players pull guys down by their dreads? I would do that all the time.

7. Dewayne Bowe - Imagine if he was on a good team.

8. Calvin Johnson - I like him a lot. Not sure if its because I think Daunte will go deep to him a lot, or because I’m wishing that he will go deep to him. Too much talk of two large men going deep with eachother.

9. Laveraneus Coles - This game could get ugly.

10. Marques Colston - Call it a hunch…..

TIGHT ENDS

1. Antonio Gates - Why are TE’s so bad this year? So hard to find a solid one.

2. Tony Gonzalez - I never saw Tyler Thigpen play at the beginning of the year but by looknig at the box score I thought it was one of those things where the Chiefs were letting a retarded kid play, like that high school basketball team did awhile back. Ok the kid wasn’t retarded he had a learnign disabiilty…tomato tomahto.

3. Dallas Clark

4. Owen Daniels

5. Anthony Fasano - Seattle gets beat by the pass, and every other way.

6. Bo Scaife

7. Greg Olsen

8. Kevin Boss - He can catch a TD pass. Can’t say that about many Tight Ends this year.

9. Viasoufsduiofhasuh Shiansodnaou - However you spell his name. The TE from Minnesota.

10. Jeremy Shockey - If the little bitch can finally get over his ball injury maybe he can catch a pass? Score some points? Help me out here?

Defense

1.Tennessee - They get to face Rex Grossman

2. Carolina

3. Jacksonville

4. Baltimore

5. Pittsburgh

6. Giants

7. Bears

8. Jets

9. Packers

10. Chargers

Kickers

1. Don’t be stupid. I’m not ranking kickers.