Week 13 Player Rankings - UPDATED 11/26/08

QB

1. Tony Romo

2. Kurt Warner

3. Peyton Manning (more…)

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The cartoon above shows how I felt Sunday afternoon at the moment I found out that Brandon Jacobs and Plaxico Burress were not playing. I felt like the rabbit, obviously. Screw those guys. Seriously, big thanks to Plaxico Burress and Brandon Jacobs for giving the impression that they were going to play…..then me telling readers they should play them and to have no fear. I’m the asshole.

I actually feel good about this week. There were some slip ups as nobody is perfect, but all in all I would have to say if you took the advice you didn’t fair that poorly this week.

SUCK LIST -

Brandon Jacobs/Plaxico Burress - “feeling better,” “improving,” “attended practice,” “probable.” What a bunch of jerks.

Brady Quinn - You shouldn’t have started him and I have no sympathy for you if you did. (more…)

Week 12 Player Rankings

QB

1. Peyton Manning

2. Kurt Warner

3. Aaron Rodgers

4. Drew Brees

5. Tony Romo

6. Jay Cutler (more…)

Many of the superstars actually lived up to expectations this weekend but there were still those who definitely failed to impress.

SUCK LIST

Tony Romo - Caught a lot of flack for ranking him 10th among QB’s this week but Sunday evening you saw exactly why. It will take him a game or two to get back into the swing of things but 198 yards 1 TD and 2 INT’s did not help you at all if you started him. He probably read Mike’s Haterade article before kickoff and got super nervous. That’s it.

Chad Pennington/Matt Ryan - Whatever happened to the studs who had pleasantly surprised the last few weeks? 6 points from Pennington and 9 from Ryan in standard leagues? I would be lying if I said we weren’t expecting much more from them against sub par defenses. They probably forgot to read everything I have written about how talented and great they are. A-Holes.

Tim Hightower - I told you all week that the way to beat Seattle was through the air and not to expect much from Hightower…so I can’t say this was completely unexpected.

Clinton Portis - Was doubtful all week and ended up playing, sort of. 68 yards…thats it. If you sat him and played Betts you lost out…and if you played Portis you lost out also. You basically lost if you had anything to do with Portis this weekend.

Willis McGahee - Ankler injury kept him out of the game as did the Giants destroying all hopes for a Baltimore rushing game by creating a huge first half lead. Check his status this week to see if he will play.

Brian Westbrook - I was thinking all week how unfair it was that Andy Reid’s job might be in trouble…..but then he only hands the ball to Westbrook 14 times….and gets him 3 receptions. McNabb threw 58 times. It is not like they were down by a lot and needed to throw the ball to catch up. Westbrook is by far the best person on this Eagles team. Pretty speechless about this one.

Marques Colston/Kevin Boss/Muhsin Muhammad - Only because I highly recommended all three of these guys all weekend, and during the chat….and they stunk it up. I will take the blame for this one.

Terrell Owens / Jason Witten - Next week they should finally have their big games but you were warned about Romo this past weekend….

Jake Delhomme/Steve Smith - I think Jake might be shaving points….how is he this bad all of the sudden? Personal problems? Wife not putting out? They played Detroit of all teams.

Adrian Peterson - Not that 85 yards is terrible….but c’mon guy you set the bar pretty high for yourself last week with 190+.

Antonio Gates - 10 yards. Nice job, buddy.

NOT SUCK LIST

Kurt Warner/Anquan Boldin/Larry Fitzgerald - Not gunna say it again…..you already know.

Matt Cassel - Ok so I should not be a weatherman….it didn’t rain as much as I thought it would but you can’t seriously think this will happen again. Or will it? No, it won’t.

Tyler Thigpen - I love this guy. Who would have thought? Continues being a top 5 fantasy QB over the last 6 weeks.

Shaun Hill - Niners might have something here….probably not but he is a good play depending on the match up.

DeAngelo Williams - What is more impressive than 120 yards rushing and 2 TD’s is that he managed to do it when Jonathan Stewart had a great game as well. DeAngelo is still the guy you want in this backfield.

Marion Barber - Actually received a few questions during the Last Minute Advice Chat (right here every Sunday before the first round of games) on whether people should start Marion Barber because of the match up. Barber should always be started. No excuses. He delivered and kept the Cowboys relevant for another week.

Maurice Jones-Drew - 93 all purpose yards and 2 TDs is great vs a Tennessee D that has been very stingy YTD. He gets all the goaline carries. Fred Taylor is droppable in most leagues.

Joseph Addai - I guess he still is alive.

Peyton Hillis - Productive game from this guy and got both the goal line carries but who knows what will happen next week after Tatum Bell gets in game shape.

In conclusion, since I have hated so hard on Braylon Edwards this week I am pretty sure he will most likely break out with one of those 7 catch 120 yard games and a TD, oh….especially since if he does that I will take a loss in a very important league. How about a Haterade article on him, Mike?

Another week, another list of players who underperformed. Let’s get this started.

SUCK LIST

Brett Favre/Lavernaues Coles/Jerricho Cotchery - 47 points for the Jets and these guys do nothing. Who would have thought? Dustin Keller was the only guy not named Thomas Jones to get you some points. Jets Defense did well also and lit at least one of my teams up. Cotchery continues to underperform and is now a very weak WR3 choice. Coles stays a decent number two but Favre is as inconsistent as…….something thats very inconsistent I guess.

Marshawn Lynch - You have to continue to start him. You just have to. Be sorry you drafted him and try not to make the mistake next year.

Jeremy Shockey - Drop him. 2 catches for 16 yards when your team throws for 400+ is unacceptable. Now he might be hurt again also. Oh, and he also splits time. I hate him.

Ben Roethlisberger - If you had another QB option you should have sat Big Ben anyways and should continue to do so until he is 100% healthy. Did I mention that last week? I should have.

Me - I should have known Jake Delhomme would have thrown for less than 100 yards and 5 picks vs the Raiders.

Torry Holt - Continues to be irrelevant. You can now safely drop him.

Steve Slaton - Baltimore D is tough but I thought this guy got some WR yards also? Nope.

Me again - Gregg Jennings will have a great week eh? Nice pick idiot. Didn’t help that Aaron Rodgers was on his back the whole game like  insert joke about someone’s mom here. On the bright side, I did say that Donald Driver will go back to donig nothing.

Chris Chambers - Did he even play? He’s not in the box score I don’t get it. Except I do get it. Because he did play. And did nothing. Philip Rivers had a nice game also. Not so good news for Chambers owners.

NOT SUCK LIST

Matt Ryan - Becoming a pleseant surprise this year and a good start depending on the matchup. I would definitely start him over Favre. 21, 20, 19, and 18 fantasy points his last 4 games. He has first two names though so he cannot be fully trusted.

DeAngelo Williams - Taken over as the number one back in Carolina. Consider yourself lucky if you have hung onto him for this long.

Thomas Jones - Hope you bought low on him at the beginning of the season. He has become a Top 5 back. Yes. Top 5. 149 and 3 TD’s!

Kurt Warner and Anquan Boldin - Facing that intimidating 49ers defense did not seem to be an issue with business as usual for these two. I am sure Kurt Warner thanks Jesus every night for his success. Jesus is obviously a Cardinals fan. Warner - 328 and 3 TD’s, Boldin 91 yards and 2 TD’s.

Willis McGahee - You would think Mike Shanahan is the coash of this squad. Every week it seems like someone else leads them in rushing. A healthy Willis dominated Houston this weekend for 112 yards and 2 TD’s.

Adrian Peterson - 192 yards and 1 TD. Throw in 33 yards receiving to rub it in. Hands down the number one RB. Sorry for everyone that drafted LDT, Westbrook, and even Addai in some cases over him.

Maurice Jones Drew - At least one person did something against the Raiders this weekend. Mojo dropped 70 yards and 3 TD’s on the Raiders. Even Fred Taylor topped his normal 20 yards with a nice 83.

Start looking at playoff matchups. Trade deadlines are probably approaching so this might be your last chance to pull a fast one on an unsuspecting team in order to shore up your playoff schedule.